Transitions - The New Beginning

Bridges poses two important questions in the transitions process:

·      “How do I know when the ending is complete and when I’ve been in the neutral zone long enough?”

·      How do I know which path before me represents a genuinely new beginning or which footprints represent a real path – or even which marks in the dust represent real footprints?”

He says that we look for external signs that point us in the right direction, but in reality it’s the “inner signals” that let us know of the new beginning. There is a sort of an inner realignment that seems to motivate one to the new reality. The quote from Eleanor Roosevelt will help students to understand this transition from endings to the neutral zone to the new beginning:

“Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your own child’s.”

Another important point is to be aware what undermines one’s decisions and make one doubt his/her decisions. These can come from people you know well; do they see you on an actual new beginning or just reliving an old pattern. A second consideration is inner: are you doing something just to avoid the actual new beginning.

Bridges has advice for the last phase of a transition:

·      “Very simply, to stop getting ready and to act.”

·      “Begin to identify yourself with the final result of the new beginning.”

·      “Take things step by step and resist the siren song that sings about some other route where everything goes smoothly and events are always exciting and meaningful.”

·      “Shift your purpose from the goal to the process of reaching the goal.”

“Endings and beginnings, emptiness and germination in between: That is the shape of the transition periods in our lives, and these times come fare more frequently in adulthood and cut far more deeply into it than most of us imagined they would.”

As site coordinators and participant coaches it’s important to listen to your students and help them through the transitional periods, to help them understand where they are, what they might be feeling and thinking, and offer support and guidance.